Left Behind
by JustSmile1
Summary: Story of Rose finding the doctor again. Not sure if it's worth continuing with so reviews would be great! T for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

"I know this is tough, i honestly do but you can't stay here. I'm sorry but you just can't." Rose said sympathetically. Torchwood was on a mission, surprise surprise! There had been reporting's of young human males having all of the energy sucked out of them, left for dead basically. It was a case that had been handed over to Torchwood because nobody could explain how it had been done, there was no way a human could do that to a teenage boy. Rose and John had set to work on it immediately and John had remembered a similar story that he had faced on the planet Huplot. Huplot's citizens, Tremoka, where animal like. They were similar to that of a bear, big strong animals. They could run through the forest at a phenomenal rate and catch anything it liked. However, they had been finding young male Tremoka lying on the floor, alive but with no energy at all. After a while the Doctor discovered that a secret race called the Convergies had been staying with the Tremoka. The Convergies where a very old, very powerful race. All most as old as the Time Lords. They had the ability to take on the appearance of any particular race they wanted and could blend in extraordinarily well. The only problem was their heart was extremely weak, and if they did not find an energy source to feed on, could pass out on them at any time. So the Tremoka would pick the strongest members of the race they had chosen to blend with, and suck out their energy taking it for themselves. Depending on how strong their victim was, the Tremoka wouldn't have to feed again for as long as they had energy.

John had recalled this to Rose and together they had tracked down a female Tremoke, living in Surrey. When Torchwood had reached her flat they had found her there with her boyfriend watching TV. It turned out the boyfriend, Tom, knew about 'Penny' but because of his love for her he had no problem with how she survived.

"Look, Penny, i understand why you want to stay here but it's not fair. It's not fair on those you're taking energy from. Torchwood has a satellite. It can take you back to your homeland, where you have fruit you can feed on to energise." Rose told her smiling softly and sincerely.

"No!" Penny hissed, "I want to stay here. I left my planet so i could travel, see new places. I will never go back, besides i never kill anyone. I'm not a murderess." She smirked.

"No, but you might as well be," Rose shot back "Those boys now all have heart conditions that could kill them at any minute. They can't be teenage lads anymore, can't play a bit of footie, can't go out for a drink with the blokes. They can't do any of that. Because of you!"

Penny lurched forward suddenly grabbing Rose's leather jacket and pulling her towards her. John stepped forward protectively. Rose lifted her hand up to stop him her eyes fixed on Penny.

"I know of you," Penny whispered for Rose only "He left you here, with an echo of himself. I love Tom like you love the Doctor. Please don't take him away from me, I cannot live without him. Rose Tyler I am begging you. Please." Rose's gaze had turned hard as soon as Penny had started to talk of the Doctor. But beneath the coldness of her face was only pain. He had left her here with a man who was not him. But she refused to think of him, reminding herself of him only hurt. She pushed out of Penny's hold and said coldly. "You should not have come here Penny, there was always a possibility of you falling for a human. You have yourself to blame. I can't allow you to stay here whilst there are people at risk. If you will not come willingly, I _will_ make you." The harshness of Rose's tone made Penny understand her situation. She turned around tears rolling down her face.

"I love you Tom," She whispered "I will never forget you,"

"I love you," He sobbed back.

Rose turned away from them and faced the wall. She was biting back her own tears. Penny walked towards Ian who was holding the handcuffs and without turning around walked out of the flat. Rose followed quickly after Ian, she couldn't look Tom in the eye. On the road she stood outside the house, and breathed deeply in and out. She felt a hand touch her back and turned to look into the worried eyes John.

"You alright?" He asked quietly.

"I'm fine," She replied but the words sounded flat and forced to her ears as well.

"Okay, well shall we go?" John gestured to the car waiting.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." Rose said and got into the car. The ride back to HQ was quiet and awkward. Rose stared out of the window not seeing the people or houses. Guilt was building up in her stomach, she had let what Penny say effect her. She had not been thinking rationally when she had forced Penny out of the house. She would have tried to have found a way for it to make it work between them. Sighing Rose stared at John. What would the Doctor have said?


	2. Chapter 2

"Rose. Rose? Rose! Rose! ROSE!" John yelled loudly, causing Rose and Tyler to jump and stare at him.

"Sorry, what?" Rose replied taking the pen she had been chewing out of her mouth.

"You've been sat there for the last 15 minutes, chewing that pen and swirling on your chair. Where was your mind?" He asked her frowning. It wasn't like Rose to neglect her work. She was usually the one yelling at him for daydreaming. Rose had re-formed Torchwood. She had turned it into a organisation that helped and listened to aliens, instead of just catching them. Torchwood had killed no aliens since Rose and John had joined the team, there was no-one they couldn't help, Rose had said.

"Sorry, i was just thinking. Tyler when is Penny's ship leaving?" She asked him suddenly. Tyler quickly tapped into his computer.

"Urm in 2 hours," He replied "Why?" But Rose had already gone, grabbing her jacket and running out of the building like a mad woman. John sighed and returned to his paperwork, shaking his head. He loved Rose, always had and always will. But she didn't love him in the way that he wanted her too, her heart would always be with the Doctor and John wasn't him. He was part Donna, part Doctor and part himself, and that wasn't what Rose wanted.

Tyler was staring at John sympathetically, taking in hi sad eyes and stony expressions. He was always being left behind.

Rose ran like she had never ran before, she had jumped out of her car and flashed her ID at security before sprinting to the shuttle that was just about to take off. She opened the door, and sprinted up the flights of stairs that lead the room where she knew Ian would be putting Penny. She burst through the door to see Ian explaining the details of the flight with Penny. As soon as Penny saw Rose she hissed menacingly and glared, Rose ignored all of this and instead she spoke.

"We're stopping this flight. Penny come with me, we've got some things to sort out," Rose grinned.


	3. Chapter 3

"You did what?" John exclaimed. Ian stood behind Rose shuffling his feet nervously and wringing his hands together. Rose, on the other hand, stood firm and stared John down.

"I let them be together. Penny and Tom." Rose repeated clearly.

"And how exactly did you do that?" John retorted moving closer to Rose.

"I transformed him. I used our DNA retractor, and changed him into a Convergie. He is now like her and together I sent them back home. It went fine John, he had no side effects and now they can stay happily together. Plus I haven't just formed an enemy with them." Rose explained reassuringly.

"John I couldn't just leave them like that, I know what it's like to have to leave someone you lo... were close to. It would have tormented me for months," Rose almost pleaded with him.

"You did what was right Rose, she had to leave and he was meant to stay here." John said loudly.

"I couldn't leave them like that! They love each other and it would have been my fault for tearing them apart. How is that right?" Rose replied her tone shaking with anger and hurt.

"Because it is Rose! It just is, you know we don't twist the rules for anyone, and you did just because you felt a little guilty. You were the one to make up these rules Rose!" John yelled running a hand through his hair.

"I know I was! I know! But I also know what it feels like to lose someone!" Rose screamed back her pretty face twisted and her hands creating large pictures with her hands to try and demonstrate.

"And don't we all know it! You tell me every day Rose, every day I'm reminded I'm not good enough for you. Why not? Why can't you just except me and try to move on?" John asked her angrily, grabbing hold of her shoulders.

"Because you're not him!" Rose yelled hysterically. "You never were! And you never will be!"

The room froze and John let go of Rose as if she had burned him. He stared at her the tears falling fast down his face, his eyes filled with only pain. He turned and stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

"John..." Rose began but stopped when she saw he had gone. "Shit." She whispered under breath. Raking a hand through her hair she turned and walked to her car.

Ian and Tyler stared at each other. They had always known about the problems Rose and John were facing. John was madly in love anyone could tell, but it was also clear that Rose saw him as nothing but an acquaintance. Sure she had taken him in after the kiss on the beach, but after that nothing. Rose was still pining for The Doctor and no-one knew what it would take for her to get over him.

"Well that was..." Tyler trailed off plonking himself down on his chair and staring blankly at the computer.

"I know," Ian sighed, he piled the many forms and letters John had on his desk onto John's chair and sat on the desk crossing his arms sadly.

"I feel for John, I mean the guy obviously loves her and she just... well she just doesn't even care!" Tyler exclaimed.

"Tyler that's harsh. Of course she cares" Ian said softly, picking up the photo that John had on his desk and looking at it. It was of Rose and from the look of it she didn't know the picture was taken. She was looking out of the sea her hair blown back from her face and a soft smile on her lips. In truth she looked stunning but Ian's tastes were a little different than Johns.

"Well she's got a funny way of showing it." Tyler muttered under his breath tapping something into his computer.

"Tyler how much of Rose and John's story do you know?" Ian asked placing the photo back on the desk.

"Urmm not much, only that he was left with her by some guy and then after that he and Rose have been having difficulties." Tyler finished frowning.

"Well he wasn't just some guy. He was The Doctor. I met him once, he saved my life. The Doctor is one of the most amazing men you could ever meet, everyone who he meets falls for him in some way." Ian said his voice wistful and he gazed off into the distance.

Tyler stared at Ian awkwardly, he let him stare at nothing before clearing his throat softly, he wanted to hear this and Ian's daydreaming could wait.

"Yeah, sorry. Urm yeah so The Doctor. Rose fell in love with him and him with her. But it was more than that, it was clear to anyone how in tune they were with each other, it was if somehow their souls had twisted themselves together and they couldn't bear to be without each other. But they got separated, Rose was pulled into the Universe while he was stuck on the other side. Apparently Rose went into some kind of depression without him. But then destiny intervened and they got pulled back together, it's obvious they are meant to be together cos somehow they keep on finding each other." Ian paused for breath and glanced at Tyler who was watching him.

"Keeping up?" He asked and Tyler nodded quickly in return.

"Anyway it seemed as though they would be together again but then John happened. He's a Meta-Crisis Doctor. He was created by accident and he carries the genes of both The Doctor and his companion at the time, Donna. And John says he has a little bit of himself in there as well."

"He looks exactly like The Doctor as well, completely the same. Only difference is John's only got one heart. One life."

"But surely that's a good thing?" Tyler asked confused. "She gets her own Doctor, one who will love her until he dies?"

"But think about it from Rose's point of view. He left her twice. She didn't want John, she wanted him and once again he left her. She was left with someone who looked exactly like him but wasn't him. That must hurt so much, she isn't in love with John, she's in love with The Doctor. She has to wake up every day and work with someone who looks exactly like her soulmate but isn't him. It must kill her." Ian replied, his eyes sympathetic.

Tyler sighed deeply. "I just hope that this get's figured out cos it could ruin everything."


	4. Chapter 4

"What the hell are you doing?" Rose asked her voice getting louder with each word. Her apartment was trashed, the sofa's had been moved, her table and chairs had been tipped over and magazines where lying across the floor in a mess. John was still tipping things out of antique boxes and chucking them on the floor.

"Looking for the Necklace of Arrai," John replied harshly. Rose froze at the words and she stared at John before lurching across the room towards him and spinning him around to face her. She grabbed his face with her hands and stared at him.

"Stop. It. Now." She growled at him. "You need to stop trashing my apartment by looking for something we both swore we would never use!"

"Oh yeah! Well I'm breaking that rule Rose. You know, I thought cos you're allowed to bend rules whenever you want that it applied to me too. Or is it just you that's important enough to do that?" He retorted to her viciously pulling out her grasp. Rose breathed in heavily and her nostrils flared.

"Let it go John. Let it go. Using the Necklace of Arrai is totally different to what I did today, it will have completely different consequences. But you know if you want to be a total idiot, go ahead. Who am I to stop you?" Rose snarled at him turning her back and swinging her shoulder bag around and marching back towards the door, just as she turned the handle she turned back to face him.

"You know John I thought maybe we could figure this out. Now I don't even know what you're going to do if you ever find the Necklace, I hope you get whatever the hell it is you want. I could have used that Necklace so many times over the last few years but I never did, and you know why that is? Because I knew how much I would let you down if I did. So I stopped myself, for you. Now I'm wondering why I even bothered." She said quietly knowing how harsh the words were but not able to stop herself.

She slipped out of the door and slammed it behind her, she ran down the stairs and out into the street allowing her feet to wonder wherever they pleased. She really didn't care where she was going and her tears blinded her vision. When she had finally forced herself to look up she was in the local park. She pushed the tears out of her eyes and slumped down on the bench, pulling out her phone and tapping in the number she had memorised years ago.

"Rose?" Ian's voice was filled with worry and Tyler snapped his head up and stared as Ian had come out from behind his desk and was pacing up and down the length of the office they worked in, his phone pressed to his ear.

"Wait, wait calm down okay, I can't hear a word your saying." Ian soothed her before pausing to listen his face turning from gentle worry to fierce concern.

"What's he going to do when he finds it? How can you not know? Didn't you ask? Okay yes, yes I'm sorry. You can't be sure he won't find it Rose, no you can't. You have to get back there and try to talk him out of it, yes you do. Well me and Tyler can't exactly do it can we? Please Rose, just be careful alright. Yeah. Call me soon. Bye" Ian hung up the phone and run his hands over his face.

"What? What is it?" Tyler asked, his eyes searching Ian's face.

"Do you know what the Necklace of Arrai is Tyler?" Ian questioned turning to look at Tyler.

"No, I don't. I remember being told about it by John though. I wasn't able to come on that mission and from John's voice I thought it better off to leave the area alone." Tyler replied frowning a little at the memory.

"Yes, well you were right. Rose, John and I had to travel to the planet Tyfin. It's one of the most beautiful planets out there, and one of the most dangerous. Not because of its dangerous predators or clawed birds but because its inhabitants are sneaky. They try to trap you and pull you in with one of their deals. They love to cause havoc and Rose saved one of its most clever members. He was called Tyron. As a thank you gift to Rose he gave her the Necklace of Arrai. The Necklace can give whatever you wish, but it can't take it back. For example, if you asked it to stop all wars in the world it would. But if in the aftermath of the wish more havoc was caused then nothing could be done to take it back. Thus, you have to think very carefully about what you wish for."

"He was clever, and tempting. It was if he had placed a charm on Rose so strong we couldn't get through to her, we tried screaming, yelling touching her but nothing worked. She couldn't see us she could just hear his voice. He was telling her about how she could have The Doctor back, all to herself. Forever. She was so close to wishing for it but then I don't something happened when I touched her arm, like an electric shock that pulled her right out of it."

Ian sighed, and raked a hand through his hair. "John was in pieces about it, not sure whether it was because it was me who finally got through to her or because she was actually going to do it. Anyways we all made a pact to never use the Necklace and Rose hid it in the one place we would never find it, or so she said. But now it appears that John is looking for it, and by the looks of things Rose has left him to it."

Tyler gaped at Ian, taking all this fresh information in. "What do you think he wants it for?"

"I don't know, but if it's something like 'Make Rose fall in love with me' then we have a bit of a problem. Rose will be able to stop him though. She has to be able to." Ian replied his voice wavering with both hope and uncertainty.


	5. Chapter 5

Rose took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself for the battle she knew she would have to face the minute she walked through the door. She had tied her hair back into a messy ponytail and her eyes were red. She shoved the key into the lock and pushed the door open.

John was sat in the middle of the room staring at the Necklace in his hands, the mess he had created piled around him. Rose walked forward slowly and closed the door behind her. She stood a few feet away from John and watched him carefully.

The Necklace itself was stunning. Stunningly beautiful or stunningly ugly, Rose couldn't decide. It was a heavy gold chain with a ruby pendant as big and as heavy as a golf ball. John was threading the chain through his fingers staring at the ruby intently.

"John?" Rose croaked out her voice hoarse from the tears "John please, we can talk about this. You don't need to do this."

"I do Rose, I do." He whispered gazing at her with pained eyes. "I have to know how you truly feel, who you would rather be with. I can't live with not knowing, I truly can't. It's eating at me Rose, right in here," He said clutching at his heart. "I need to understand, I need to know. I can't move on otherwise.

"John don't do this, John please" Rose began to beg moving quickly towards him reaching a hand out. This only cause John to jump up and stumble back over the collection of books that had gathered on the floor. Just as he was about to fall he shoved the Necklace over his head and everything froze. He was lifted into the nothingness, the white canvas.

"Make your wish," A voice boomed at him. John shut his eyes tightly.

"I wish for The Doctor to bought to me for 4 hours before being sent back to his world as soon as the 4 hours are up, if anyone is touching him at that moment then they too will be sent back with him." John said firmly before being thrown out of the whiteness and back into the apartment.

"NO!" Rose screamed as he returned. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!"

"It has begun," Ian whispered his face turning pale.

Tyler didn't question him, he knew that Ian spoke only the truth. Ian had been found half dead on the planet of Ritene. He was only an innocent creature when Rose, John and Tyler had found him. To help to survive Rose had given Ian some of her strength. Rose had had to try and connect her mind with Ian's before pouring energy into him. The process was difficult and for many days both Ian and Rose were very weak, during the gesture Ian had transformed into a human man, with a strong connection to what Rose was feeling. Ian had gotten very good at tuning Rose's emotions out but every now at then when Rose would have an emotional outburst Ian couldn't help but feel what he was feeling.

Tyler walked slowly towards Ian and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Rose can sort this, Rose can do anything," Tyler soothed hoping more than anything he was right.


	6. Chapter 6

It was as if time stood still. As if the world stopped, John stared at Rose. Her face had been twisted in ugly anger but now as it stood at the swirling vortex in the middle of their apartment he saw none of that. Only hope. In the first few seconds Rose had tried to keep her face neutral, tried not to display any emotion but she had given up very quickly. Her face now displayed only hope and a twinge of excitement. John took her in, her hair had been pulled into a ponytail, and he liked her hair up it showed more of her face.

Her white top hung to her flat stomach and her black jacket fitted her arms. Her skinny jeans and boots suited her and he couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she was. Her eyes twinkled with the same look they had when she and John would be chasing after some alien. She was biting her lip and fidgeting, even in her excitement she was nervous. John tore his eyes from Rose and stared at the vortex watching as if finally swirled away into mist, leaving the silhouette of a man. When finally all the smoke and fog had cleared John watched the man walk forwards and braced himself to see his twin stare back at him.

But that never happened. Instead a man who was just slightly smaller than me appeared. He was of a skinny frame, a bit lanky. His clothes looked as if he had just walked into some locker room and grabbed an assortment of the clothes lying around. He was wearing a pink shirt that was tucked into long black trousers. He was wearing brown tweed jacket with velvet elbow patches and the most bizarre item of clothing of them all was his bow tie. His maroon/ purple coloured bow tie. John frowned and glanced over at Rose, she looked heartbroken.

"What the hell have you done John?" She snarled at him turning to stare at him directly.

"What? How am I getting blamed for this?" John said loudly taking a step towards her.

"You were the one that bought him here!" She said jabbing a finger into his chest.

"Well I didn't know that they were going to bring me some random guy did I? I did it for the best Rose. I couldn't live with you not knowing how you felt about me, I had to do something." He yelled at her, why couldn't she understand?

"Urm sorry to interrupt, but could you please explain to me how it is that I am seeing Rose Tyler and a former version of myself, because as far as I can remember I left the both of you on a parallel universe. And also if you happen to have seen a red haired girl and a, well I suppose he is alright looking, an alright looking chap could you please inform them I'm here." The strange man rambled to us.

His face was long and his dark hair flopped over one eye, his eyes sparkled and his stood rather awkwardly.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Rose asked him delicately.

"Rose it's me. The Doctor. Him," He said pointing at John "Well not quite him, regenerated you see. And now here I am, which by the way you still haven't explained." He finished looking at Rose.

When she didn't move or speak he took a step towards her. "Rose I'm still me. Old me, new self. I'm still me." He said softly.

Rose walked slowly towards him, stepping over the rubbish that was still on the floor. She placed her hand on one side of his chest, then the other. Checking to feel both of heartbeats, when she felt both of his hearts beating she smiled softly. Keeping her left hand on his chest she raised her right hand and stroked his cheek softly, staring into his eyes. The Doctor shivered involuntarily at her touch. Rose's hand strayed from his cheek up to twist a strand of his dark hair around her finger.

"Still not ginger huh?" She said softly smiling. The Doctor grinned at her and took her hand off his chest and slotted her fingers in between his own. She took her hand off his face and turned to look at John who was staring at the pair sadly.

"So, you guys going to tell me how I got here? And why this apartment looks like it has been bombed." The Doctor asked.

"What's happening?" Tyler asked "Can you tell?"

Ian shook his head. "No, I felt her anger. She was so angry and then overwhelming disappointment. But now she's gone back to blocking her feelings."

"She's blocking her feelings from you?" Tyler asked.

"Not intentionally, we found that we were both doing it. It was as if our bodies were aware of the fact that another could feel us. So they started to put up defences, when you feel emotion it's like it radiates off you and our bodies started to put a barrier around us to keep our emotions to ourselves. Only very strong and sudden emotions can burst through. She block me now without even knowing it." Ian explained.

Tyler paced around the office they were still stood in. "I hate this!" He cried "I hate not knowing what's happening. The world could blow up any minute because of John and we wouldn't even know it. I hate this" Tyler repeated.

"I know," Ian replied "I know,"

"You should have destroyed it!" The Doctor said sharply. He walked over to the window of Rose's now clean apartment. Rose had quickly cleaned the place up while John had gone to fetch some custard for the Doctor.

"You should have taken it and destroyed it. Instead what did you do? Use it for your own purpose. And a stupid purpose it was too. You always were dumb, the Daleks and now this! You are meant to talk John, you are meant to talk to Rose about your problems not pull me across universes to see who she loves more! What were you thinking? You should have destroyed it!" The Doctor screamed at John who was sat on the sofa staring at his hands.

"Doctor listen. We didn't know what it could do, after I refused to use it on Tyfin we got beamed straight back down to Earth. We had no idea of its power and we couldn't just put it in the bin and hope for the best. All I could do was hide it and never use it again. Please understand?" Rose pleaded with him standing by his side. He nodded stiffly and spoke in a monotone voice.

"I need to get some air, I'll be back soon." With that the Doctor turned and walked out of the apartment. Rose stood where she was and looked between the door and John.

"Go," John said softly ignoring the pain in voice. He wanted her to stay, he wanted to cry so that she would hold him, he wanted to beg her to forget The Doctor and stay with him but he didn't. He let he go because he knew deep down that she would always go with The Doctor, new face or not.

"Thank you," Rose whispered and slipped out of the door. John crumpled into a pile on the sofa and cried until his tears stopped falling.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, hey, hey, wait up!" Rose yelled breathlessly. The Doctor turned to see Rose hanging over the railing of the stairs, a few flights above him. He grinned weakly at her.

"What are you doing?" He asked her as she ran down the stairs to join him

"Coming. With. You." She replied before coming to a stop in front of him. He shook his head fondly at her.

"What?" Rose cried at him a twinkling look in her eye "If you had got lost wandering around I would never have gotten to see you again would I?"

"No, I suppose not." The Doctor pondered. "Anyhow, you can show me around."

"Yeah," Rose grinned at him grabbing his hand and pulling him down the rest of the stairs. The Doctor tried to ignore how perfectly it fit there, how even in a new body Rose seemed to be able to fit every nook and cranny of him, body and soul. He watched as she talked about London and showed him the sights and building that weren't there back on the parallel Earth.

"Come on," Rose said dropping his hand and walked forward a bit "I want to show you the Park." With that she took off at a jog moving forward quickly before turning and rushing back to him.

"Oh by the way, nice bowtie. Bowties are cool," She grinned at him before pressing a kiss to his cheek and running off. The Doctor stared after her completely baffled before grinning the biggest smile his new face had smiled. He sprinted after her, catching up with her and relishing in the feeling of running with her alongside him.

Rose came to a stop inside a huge park and the Doctor stopped beside her both them breathing heavily from the running. The park was very long and very wide, in fact it was bigger than a football pitch. Trees and wild flowers were dotted around the place and children weaved their ways in between the trees and shrubs, laughing and playing. Rose walked forward and came to a stop underneath a large oak tree. She leant her head against the bark and stretched her legs in front of her.

"This is my favourite place to sit. I used to come out here when a mission got to tough and I couldn't think of a way around it. I used to sit here and think of you, what you would do in that situation. It used to be quite helpful." She finished and smiled up at him.

The Doctor looked at her for a while before sitting himself next to her. He picked a few strand of grass from the floor and played with them in his hands.

"Why did you join Torchwood? I mean, why? You used to hate everything they stood for. Everything they did. They were the ones who separated us." The Doctor murmured slowly.

"I know. I was shocked out of my mind when John suggested it. I refused to for a long time, but the thing is Doctor I missed the excitement to much. You can't show me aliens and planets and then expect me to go back and work in a shop."

"And I thought I could change it for the better. When I told them my knowledge of the Daleks, The Shadow Proclamation... You, everything changed. Suddenly Torchwood wanted me as much as I wanted them. But I refused to work for them until they worked under my rules. It was months before they came to a decision about it, but eventually I got my way." Rose grinned at him, turning her to look at him.

"I'm sure you did," The Doctor laughed. It was a nice laugh, Rose decided. A laugh she wanted to remember.

"And you, still travelling I take it?" Rose asked knowing the answer before he spoke it.

"Yep, still travelling." The Doctor answered anticipating the next question.

"You, err, you still own your own?" Rose asked softly avoiding his gaze.

"No, I'm with erm Amy now." The Doctor answered watching Rose's face.

"Oh, Amy." Rose replied bitterly scowling a little.

"Yeah Amy... and her husband." The Doctor added.

"Her, her... husband." Rose repeated as the words sunk in "Oh you little," She reached forward and tried to slap The Doctor on the arm but he caught her hand.

"What?" The Doctor asked innocently.

"You could have mentioned that before, stopped me getting..." She trailed off and blushed.

"What?" The Doctor replied biting back a laugh "Jealous?"

"No," Rose replied too quickly, drawing out the o. She tried to pull her hand away but The Doctor stayed firm. Her intertwined their fingers and locked eyes with Rose. They stared intensely at each other, The Doctor reliving her face. The face that he had memorized so well, searching for anything new to add to the memory. Rose's eyes slowly took in The Doctors face, seeing his old self buried deep in his eyes. Even with the new eyes, new hair, new lips, ears new everything he was still him. Still her Doctor.

They both leaned forward, closing the gap between them as their lips hungrily merged together. As The Doctor bit gently on Rose's bottom lip Rose moaned and moved herself closer to him, needing to feel his body, not wanting to have any air between them. Without breaking the kiss Rose gently straddled him and pushed her body down on his. The Doctor groaned deeply in his throat as his hands tangled in her hair. After a couple more minutes Rose pulled away and stared at The Doctor.

She ran her hands over his face and relished in the feeling of his new skin. The Doctor saw Rose as his angel, his saviour. The sun behind her sent her a golden haze around her body, and with her flushed cheeks and swollen lips The Doctor thought he had never seen anything more perfect.


	8. Chapter 8

"So when did you change?" Rose asked. She had gotten off The Doctor and had placed herself in between his legs were she was now quite happy playing with one of The Doctors hands.

"Ohh, quite a while after I left you. A year or so, maybe more. I don't really kept track of time." He replied smiling at her.

"Why did you change?" Rose asked a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"I didn't want to. It was Wilf, Donna's granddad. He got stuck and I basically had to electrocute myself to save him. It was sad, I didn't want to go." The Doctor answered, his voice full of memory and sadness. Rose shifted round so that she was facing him. She raised a hand and cupped his cheek, smiling softly as he leaned into her touch.

"Always the hero." She whispered. He opened his eyes and smiled gently at her. Rose grinned back before leaping up.

"Come on," She said offering him her hand "We've got to get back, check on John."

"Urgh," The Doctor replied "That buffoon. All because of you, you know. He did all that, pulled me across universe's cos of you. I hope your proud of yourself." He mock scolded her. Rose grinned at him before grabbing his hand and leading him back to the flat. Both of them walking slowly, not wanting to have to go back and face reality.

John watched as Rose and The Doctor entered the flat again. He was sat staring at nothing, as he had been for the past hour. He did not acknowledge them, only kept staring.

"John?" Rose asked. "John, we've come to talk,"

"What's there to talk about?" He answered his voice hoarse and broken.

"Well seeing as you messed with reality, left Amy and Rory on their own in the Tardis and have made Rose cry at least two times in one day- I suggest you find something to talk about," The Doctors voice got louder and louder until he was screaming the last few words at John.

John finally turned his head and stared at The Doctor.

"No, I mean I've found out what I wanted to know. You can have the last hour to yourselves, and when he starts to disappear Rose make sure you hold onto him tight. Don't let go otherwise you'll be lost in the Vortex, hold onto him and you will arrive back in the parallel world with him." John spoke softly and plainly. No emotion entered his voice.

"What are you talking about John?" Rose asked him frowning.

John looked at her for a moment before answering "When I made the wish I asked for it so that when The Doctor gets transported back to his world anyone touching him at the time will travel with him as well. So you can go with him, and stay with him."

"John I..." Rose trailed off words failed her. She reached up and whispered into The Doctors ear.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I urm I saw something marvellous on the staircase I must go and see it again." He said stiffly before turning out of the door.

"John," Rose began before sitting herself down next to him and looking at him intensely. "Thank you John, thank you so much."

"Yes, well you finally got your wish," He answered her before standing up and walking over to the window.

"What do you mean 'my wish'?" Rose asked confusion in her tone.

"Well, you always wanted me to understand how it would feel to have the person you love more than anything leave you. Well your wish is becoming a reality." John replied his words and tone harsh and sharp.

Rose was stunned. She had nothing to say to it. She opened and closed her mouth slowly for a minute before slowly walking over to John, stretching her arm out to arm to him as if to bring him into a hug. John turned sharply at her presence and coiled away as if her arm was a snake, poisonous and deadly.

"DON'T TOUCH ME ROSE!" He yelled at her, walking as far away from her as possible.

"John, I..." Rose's voice cracked and her arm dropped limp to her side. She pushed a strand of hair from her face and looked at him, her face a picture of sadness.

"Please Rose. Please don't." The simple words tore through Rose in a much more painful way than his harsh yells. His voice was broken, sadness and pain pouring through. He looked like a tortured man begging for mercy.

"I know the minute you touch me, the minute you show me any kind of love, even if it's only in comfort, I'll break down and beg you to stay with me Rose, so please don't. Just, please." He begged softly a lonesome tear travelling down his face. Rose watched him, wishing there was something she could do.

"Rose. I love you so much, you will never know how much I love you. I think in a way I love you more than he does. Only because you can't ever be mine, you will always be his and I know that, I do. But to see you with him, it kills me, right in my chest. You have my whole heart Rose, it's yours to take and rip apart. Even now, I don't care. I would rather endure a lifetime of hell with you near me than a lifetime of heaven without you. You've shattered my heart so many times now Rose, I'm surprised you don't hear it when it breaks." John said sobbing fiercely now, but he couldn't stop.

"To see you with him, happy with him. He's not even the same. He's not the man you fell in love with. He changed his face and you still act as if he's a long lost God. He left you Rose. He left you twice! He should have just held onto you. Just held on and never let you go, but he didn't. I would never have let you go Rose. Never."

" Every day I wake up and tell myself I will get over you today. EVERY GOD DAMN DAY. And it never happens, because you smile at me Rose. You smile at me and I feel my heart just burst. The pain is... the pain. It never stops Rose, it never goes away and all I want is for it to stop. Just stop." He cried clutching at his body as if to hold himself up. Rose was softly crying now too, hating herself for hurting a man so blindly. She stumbled towards him, not knowing what else to do.

"NO!" He yelled. "What do you want me from me Rose? WHAT DO YOU WANT? I've given you everything, you have him now. You don't need to keep hurting me Rose. He's here! You can go back with him and live out your forever. SO GO!" He screamed pointing at the door.

"JUST GET OUT! I don't want love you Rose, it just hurts too much. But the thing is, I don't know how to stop. So please, I'm begging you- just go." He sobbed no longer angry just broken. Rose had taken his heart out and crushed it, stomped on it, ripped it. Shattered it, but he didn't even care, Rose was his angel and as long as she was with him he didn't care for anything else. He crumpled to the floor, scrunching his eyes shut, trying to block it out. For he knew, as the door slammed shut behind her, that she was gone from him. Forever.

**Hello Everybody!**

**Now, I've been having a bit of trouble with this story because my original plot line, I don't like. I don't think it would suit with the story, so I would really appreciate reviews on suggestions on who you think Rose should be with and why. I understand if you don't want to, it's obviously quite a big thing I'm asking you to do, but I would really appreciate it.**

**I am quite proud of this so I just want to say thank you to those of you who are reading it (if there is anyone!) because I was originally just going to give up on it. But you guys have kept me going, so thank you so much. **

**Also if this chapter seems overdramatic instead of sad please let me know, cos I don't want to seem cheesy. Thank you everyone! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

"Oh, oh oh you beautiful thing. Oh you are just gorgeous," The Doctor exclaimed as he pressed the key to his lips.

"What?" Rose asked softly as she shuffled down the stairs to meet him. He took one look at her puffy eyes and red nose and knew that her and John had said their final goodbyes. He pulled her into a tight hug and tried to feel any sympathy for him. But he couldn't, he had Rose now and all he could feel was happiness. He knew it was selfish and awful, but he couldn't find it in him to care.

He pulled away from Rose but held her hand tightly with his.

"The TARDIS knew something was happening so she locked herself down. That means that my and Rory are safe and the TARDIS is stuck waiting for me to return which by my watch is very soon." He watched as her face remained passive.

"Rose are you sure you want to do this?" He asked her softly "If you want to stay here I'll understand." He said even though he knew it would physically break him if he lost her again.

"Yeah course I'm sure, never letting you out of my sight again," She said softly smiling up at him as they walked outside the building. He pressed a kiss to her lips softly and felt as she smiled against him.

"When do you think we'll be going?" Rose asked him tilting her head up to look at him.

"Very soon. About 3 minutes." He answered staring at his watch. She slipped her hand into his.

"Not letting go of you then." She said grinning up at him. The door opened behind her and she felt as John came out of the building.

"John.." She began but he held up a hand to stop her.

"Don't Rose. I'll be going to see Ian and Tyler now tell them goodbye from you." He said quietly, fiddling with his coat sleeve.

"Rose it will be an easier journey if we stand over there," The Doctor said pointing to the other side of the road.

"Okay then, you go I need to just say bye." Rose said letting his hand slip away from hers.

"Alrighty then. Hurry though." He said and made his way across the road.

"John, I need to say..."

"SHIT!" John yelled and Rose turned to see a car speeding towards The Doctor.

"NO!" Rose yelled feeling the air swoop past her as John sprinted out into the road. He tackled The Doctor out of the way and just before they hit the floor both of them were beamed back into the parallel world, leaving nothing but smoke behind them.

"NO!" Rose screamed again, collapsing to the floor as her world came crashing down around her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so I know you guys aren't happy bout the last chapter. Sorry, I couldn't help it- made such a good twist but I am going to fix it don't worry but you guys might not be happy with how I end the story but hey. I'm just full of angst.**

"We gotta go. Now!" Ian suddenly screamed grabbing a jacket and sprinting out the office.

Tyler looked up from his computer bewildered before launching himself off the chair and following suit after Ian.

"Ian? What's wrong? What's happening?" Tyler yelled down the stairs at Ian who was a few flights below him.

"I'll tell you in the car, just hurry up!" Ian bellowed back increasing his speed. When both men were strapped in Ian sped away out of the garage and skidded out into the street.

"Tell me," Tyler said firmly, holding onto his seatbelt for support as Ian speeded round the corners.

"I don't know, I couldn't, she just." He babbled before composing himself. "It's Rose, I felt her. She broke Tyler. I don't know how, I honest to God don't but I felt her. She suffered such pain, it was so overwhelming and then her emotions just stopped. As if she had given up."

Tyler stared at Ian worriedly, he had never seen Ian like this. He had always been so calm, so ready for anything but now he looked terrified.

"How do you know where she is?" Tyler asked.

"I'm listening for her heartbeat. It's faint but I can still hear it, if my guess is right then she is directly outside of her building." Ian answered her eyes focused on the road.

When Ian finally pulled over and raced to Rose's building with Tyler by his side, Tyler gasped in shock.

Rose lay crumpled on the ground, as if a great weight had pushed her to the ground and held her there. Ian didn't hesitate before gently pulling her away from the ground and holding her in his arms. Tyler had never seen Rose look so lifeless, so empty.

Her eyes stared at him unseeing, and he crouched down at her level to hear her mumbling. As he got closer he got hear her whispering.

"They're gone, they're gone, they're gone." She muttered over and over again.

"It's okay sweetie, it's fine. I've got you Rose. I got you."Ian comforted her over and over as he picked her from the ground and carried her bridal style into her building and into the lift.

When they finally reached the apartment, the door was left open as if someone had left in a hurry. Tyler pushed the door open and laid Rose gently down on her couch, stroking the hairs away from her face.

"John!" Tyler cried out "John we need you." When John still didn't appear Tyler said the one thing he knew would make John move faster than lightening

"It's Rose." Tyler cried but still John didn't come, Tyler frowned at Ian who was staring at Rose, confusion on his face.

"What honey? What are you saying?" Ian asked her.

"He's gone." Rose uttered simply. "They're both gone, oh my God they've gone." She whispered and that was when the tears came, they poured down her face at such a rate that Tyler wondered if it was natural.

She carried on crying for what seemed like forever and all Ian and Tyler could do was wait and comfort.

When Tyler's phone started ringing, he glanced apologetically at Rose and cursed when he saw the caller ID.

"It' my mum," He whispered to Ian. "I was meant to meet her. I have to go, I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine go," Ian answered smiling softly. When the door closed around Tyler Rose sat up on the sofa.

Her eyes were red and puffy, and she gazed into the middle distance. Her hair was messy and her clothes were crumpled and stained with her tears. She turned her gaze slowly to Ian and as a single tear slipped down her cheek Ian felt his heart break for her.

"Rose, what's happened?" Ian asked her simply, she glanced back up at him and her gaze was filled with such pain and sadness that Ian had to blink several times to recover.

She sniffed and pushed her hands through her hair.

"They left." She said plainly. Ian didn't make a sound knowing that she wasn't finished. "John used The Necklace of Arrai to wish for The Doctor to be bought over to this universe, so that he could see for himself that I didn't love him."

"The Doctor's changed. He regenerated but he was the same." Her voice got higher as the tears filled her eyes again

"He was still my Doctor, still full of pain and love and he still loved me I could feel it. As it turns out John gave me exactly what I wanted. Even when I hurt him he still loved me and wanted me to be happy." She sobbed after the last sentence and Ian silently willed her to continue.

"In his wish he asked for anyone to be touching The Doctor at the moment he gets beamed back to the parallel world, to be able to travel back with him. Giving me the chance to go back with The Doctor. To travel with him. Forever." She whispered and Ian shuddered at her tone.

"But just at the moment he was about to get beamed back down to his universe, he was walking across a road. The car was too fast and he just froze." Rose continued her tone flat and dull as if she was re-telling a sad story that happened to someone else.

"He got beamed back on his own, didn't he? Rose I am so sorry. So so sorry." Ian murmured feeling her pain though she was trying to block him from it.

"No not on his own." She whispered and Ian stared at her confused, trying to figure out how she was here if she had got beamed back.

"But I don't..." Ian began but Rose interrupted.

"Where is John Ian?" Rose asked him, the tears beginning to fall again. He stared at her for a moment more and Rose could almost see his thought process. He suddenly gasped at stared in Rose in horror. Ian stood up straight, his knees clicking from the change in posture.

"Oh." Ian said dumbly unsure of what comfort to offer. He knew Rose had loved John but not as much as she loved The Doctor. Now she had no-one, both of her loves had disappeared down a path that could never be followed.

"Rose, I"

"Don't Ian." She said staring at him.

He nodded at her before saying quickly. "You need sleep, I'll just get your bedroom ready." Ian swept out of the living room and left Rose in the silence that had swarmed around her.

She stared at the Television, watching the blank screen intently as though the most epic movie was playing in front of her eyes.

Her heart ached for the loss that had become so apparent. 3 times now, 3 times she had lost The Doctor. And 1 time she had lost the man who had loved her enough that he would sacrifice his happiness for her.

But it was then that she saw it. When you see something out of the corner of your eye, something that immediately catches your attention, you turn your head quickly to try and spot what it was. But Rose didn't do this, instead she turned her head slowly towards the object, knowing exactly what is was before she had even seen it.

The Necklace of Arrai was lying on the top of her ornament cabinet, lying there as if it had no idea of the damage it had caused. She grabbed The Necklace and closed her fist around the jewel as if intending to crush it before a better thought raced through her mind.

She could use this, she could bring them back to her. But that thought was replaced by an echoing of an old one.

"_You need to stop trashing my apartment by looking for something we both swore we would never use!" _

Both swore we would never use. Both swore.

Well John broke that rule, why can't I? Rose thought before bringing The Necklace of her head.

She got pulled into the Vortex and missed the deafening scream of "NO!" that passed Ian lips as he watched Rose make a deal with the Devil.


	11. Chapter 11

It was the blankness that shook Rose. All there was was white, no colour. There was no different shade, there was no shadow and there was no darkness. She was standing inside of a cotton ball and it was scaring her. So she ran.

Rose ran into the whiteness, the tears pouring down her face. She couldn't find any difference in her surroundings and so she fell to the floor and bought her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her hands. Her hair fell around her face like a curtain, protecting her from the Vortex she was in.

"Well, well, well. Miss Rose. How unsurprising that you're here." A voice boomed and Rose started. The voice was deep and rich and it filled her whole body with its sound. She lifted her head up and stared around, trying to find the source of the voice.

"Oh, you won't be able to find me Miss Rose, human eyes are strangely lacking. You know you could see me if you really tried, but humans are so narrow minded that you only look, you never see." The voice spoke again and Rose filled with fear and hope at its tune.

"How do I see you?" Rose asked, she wanted to see the body to the voice.

"See even now, you assume that there is a body to look at." The voice said as if it could hear her thoughts.

"Oh but I can Miss Rose. You seem to project your emotions and thoughts a lot more loudly than your fellow humans. Indeed there is a lot about you that is different." The voice spoke to her in a way that a teacher would speak to a child, Rose gritted her teeth and stared defiantly into the whiteness.

"So teach me, teach me to see you." Rose said clearly, not asking but telling.

"Miss Rose, it is not something I can teach." The voice sighed "If your Doctor was here he would tell you the same thing. Just because I do not have a physical body does not mean I am not a being."

"Humans learnt to block out what they thought was different. What scared them. You are so full of fear and hate that you cannot see what is right in front of your eyes. Nevertheless, you seem different."

"You are more opening, you are more excepting, so I will try to teach you Miss Rose. Close your eyes." The voice demanded and Rose did as she was told.

"When you open your eyes, anticipate your surroundings. You know what the Vortex you are standing in looks like but don't look for that. When you open your eyes imagine you are a baby opening it's eyes to the world for the first time."

"See the different shades of white that surround you, feel the different air. See the imperfections of the ground you stand. What seems smooth and plain is rough and jagged filled with bends and turns."

"Do not limit your emotions, your sense. Open up every part of you. Now Miss Rose, open your eyes." The voice told her and as she did her breath caught in her throat.

She saw. For the first time in her life, Rose Tyler saw her surroundings, she saw the wind as it brushed past her face.

She saw the lumps and cracks in the ground she stood on. She saw the different colours of white that radiated off the wall and she saw the voice.

He was a ball of light, of colour and of emotions. The colours swirled together, twisting and turning. He was elegant and graceful. The light swirled around her body, covering her body and Rose laughed with it and she span and danced with the colour.

"You see now Miss Rose. You see." He said softly and she grinned.

"I see." Rose replied smiling at the light.

"But you now will answer my question." He demanded and Rose cocked her head to one side.

"Okay?" She said hesitantly sitting on the floor and crossing her legs as the light hovered in front of her.

"Why are you here?" He asked twisting and moving in front of her.

"I'm here because... I mean I'm here... I'm here..." Rose trailed of, staring at her hands which she had placed in her lap.

"I don't know why I'm here." She finished softly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Surely you must have a reason for being here?" The voice prompted and Rose looked up and nodded.

"I did. At least I think I did. I wanted you to bring them back to me." She said quietly looking back down at her hands.

The light stopped moving for the first time since Rose had opened her eyes and came to hover directly in front of her.

"Oh child, you know that is not possible." He said gently but firmly.

"But why? Why is it not possible? You bought The Doctor across from a parallel universe for Christ's sake why can't you bring them back?" Rose said loudly her eyes pleading with the light.

"Because Miss Rose it's the rules. No matter what wish I grant, I can never undo the consequences from that wish. John knew that." He said to Rose understandingly.

"However I will send you back to the moment John was about to make the wish. It is up to you to stop him, if you fail you will have lost both of them forever." He said his voice echoing across the Vortex.

"So I never get to see The Doctor..." Rose trailed off trying not to be unhappy and ungrateful about that fact.

"Child, you and The Doctor are meant to be together. Just because you are not with him in the first very miniscule aspect of your life does not mean that you will not travel with him for eternity afterwards." The voice gently chided her.

"So in the Afterlife?" Rose asked hope in her voice.

"Maybe, if that is what you wish to call it. But Miss Rose do not take this life for granted. It is precious and you should not spend it wishing after The Doctor. The time will come for you two to be re-untied, be sure of that. Enjoy the time you have that can be your own, the time where you are not relying on The Doctor to be your air. Where you do not love him to the point where you can not live without him, because Miss Rose while your love for The Doctor at the moment stands strong it will become stronger." The voice boomed at her and Rose smiled and stood up.

"Why are you helping me?" She asked curiously staring at the beauty of light that was swirling in front of her.

"You have a pure heart Miss Rose but you were getting lost, too lost in the emotions and pain. It was threatening to swallow you and I did not want that. I see your future Miss Rose and it is a great one, I could not allow you to be consumed with fear and hatred as so many others are."

"Goodbye, Rose Tyler and good luck." The voice said gently and Rose could hear the smile behind the words before she was released from the Vortex and back down to Earth.


	12. Chapter 12

"I do Rose, I do." He whispered gazing at her with pained eyes. "I have to know how you truly feel, who you would rather be with. I can't live with not knowing, I truly can't. It's eating at me Rose, right in here," He said clutching at his heart. "I need to understand, I need to know. I can't move on otherwise.

Rose stared at him baffled suddenly understanding what had happened. She was at the point where John was going to make the wish. She took a deep breath and swallowed.

"I don't want you to move on John." Rose said softly and smiled gently at him.

"Wh what?" John stuttered, frowning at her.

"I want you to love me, I want you to be with me. I want you to protect me and care for me for the rest of your life. I want you." She said simply smiling at him.

"I will always love The Doctor. I can't help that, it's inside of me and I can't change it. But that doesn't mean that I don't love you. It doesn't mean that I don't want you to be with me."

"I was so blind John. I thought that I can only love one man and I kept comparing you to him instead of looking at you for you. I am so sorry and I will never do that again. My eyes are opened now John and I do love you and I do want to be with you." She finished hoping and praying that she had done enough to convince him that what she said was the truth.

"You want to be with me?" John asked and Rose nodded instantly.

"Prove it." He whispered.

Rose slowly walked towards him and pulled him gently out from the rubbish he was standing in. She hooked her arms around his neck and gently pulled his lips to hers. Their mouths connected and Rose gasped at the feeling. It was different to The Doctors kisses. But not better and not worse, just different. It was nice, it made her stomach swirl and Rose wondered why she hadn't spent more of her time doing this earlier.

As John's confidence rose he put his hands on her hips and pushed her back against the door, giving her the leverage to hook one leg around his waist.

Keeping one hand tangled in his hair, Rose used the other to pull The Necklace from out of his grasp and across the room, where is hit the T.V cables and exploded. Rose grinned against John's mouth knowing that it was the voice who had made his home and vortex combust so that Rose and John would never be tempted. She sent a silent prayer of thanks up to the voice, before turning her attention back to man she loved.

"Ian? Ian? What's happening? Did she stop him?" Tyler's voice broke through the silence and small grin lit up Ian's face and he felt Rose's rush of emotions-peace, love and safety.

"Yeah, she stopped him alright. It's all good. Now they're um making up." Ian added watching as Tyler crinkled his nose in disgust. Ian laughed softly before grabbing his jacket and pulling Tyler up out of his chair.

"So, drink, maybe dinner if things go well?" Ian asked Tyler, as he pulled on his jacket.

"Yeah alright. Wait? Are you asking me out?" Tyler asked as his voice went up at the last sentence.

"Maybe," Ian replied sauntering out of the building and into the light, smiling as he took in the colours of the world.

"That's right Rose, just keep your eyes open." Ian whispered before Tyler came hurrying out after him.

**Voila. All finished. I understand that this story was not that good, and that it annoyed quite a few readers (hehehe-sorry) but for anyone who has carried on reading this. Thank you it means a lot and please leave reviews and tell me what you think.**

**Thank you! **


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